Proverbs 12:16 / How to deal with insults

If you’ve spent much time around kids, you know that they are prone to make painfully honest comments that can come off as insulting: 

“Dad, I can see a bunch of skin on the top of your head!”

“Mom, when you wave at me the skin under your arms waves too!”

“Dad, I like cuddling with you because your stomach is like a soft, cushy pillow.”

Kids are honest. Sometimes TOO honest. But, since they are kids and that is what we expect, we (hopefully) let their insults slide right on by. 

But what about when the insults come from an adult? How do you respond when somebody who knows better says something unkind, or unnecessary?

Maybe a co-worker gives an unsolicited critique, or an in-law makes a comment about how your kids are acting, or a random person takes their frustrations out on you without provocation?

Insults happen, intentionally and unintentionally, and when they do – how do you respond?

The author of Proverbs gives this advice:

Fools show their annoyance at once,
    but the prudent overlook an insult.

The ability to overlook an insult is a sign of wisdom and maturity. It is a mark of a person who is confident and doesn’t take himself or herself too seriously. 

Someone waved at you while driving, but forgot to raise all the fingers on the waving hand – so what? Is that going to ruin your day? Worth losing your witness over?

The root of taking offense is pride. 

We get offended because we feel we are getting something we don’t deserve (insults, disrespect, criticism), or not getting something we do deserve (recognition, respect, courtesy).

So next time an opportunity to take offense presents itself – take a second and ask:

Am I taking offense to this because my pride has been hurt? Or because I have been legitimately wronged? 

And ask:

Is this offense (intentional or unintentional) worth me allowing it to dictate how I feel or respond?

If a legitimate wrong has occurred, honest conversations are healthy and good. Approach the person in love, share your feelings, and forgive. 

If your pride was simply hurt, or someone did something foolish and there is no way to resolve it – ask the Lord to help you overlook that offense.

It is not worth the anger, bitterness or frustration that might spring up if you take it to heart. 

Blessings, 

Pastor Dave

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