Matthew 5:23-24, 18:15 / Dealing with Conflict.
Matthew 5:23-24, 18:15 / Dealing with Conflict.
It is hard to imagine that a person could walk through life without having any personal conflict – no arguments with siblings, disagreements with spouses, frustration with co-workers or disunity with church community. Most of us, if we have been on this earth for a while, understand that a certain level of conflict is inevitable – and can be healthy if dealt with correctly.
The Bible says a lot about dealing with conflict, but today I want to focus on two passages where Jesus taught on this in the book of Matthew:
Matthew 5:23-24
23 So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, 24 leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.
Matthew 18:15
15 “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother.
So, what do these two passages teach us about conflict? Jesus gives us two things we can do:
1. Take initiative in making things right.
There have been many times in my life when I have been wronged and decided to give the ole “silent treatment” as I waited for the person who wronged me to come apologize. On the flipside, there have also been times when I knew I did something wrong and waited till the person I offended came to me to talk about it.
Jesus teaches the opposite of both those responses. Notice that He tells us to go to the other person whether we did the offending (Matthew 18), or they did the offending (Matthew 5). Both situations call for initiative on our part. We can often tell ourselves that if they were at fault they should apologize – and that is right, they should. But if we are “seeking to be at peace with all men (and women)” then it is up to us to go and tell them their fault or go and be reconciled.
If there is something between you and someone else, regardless of fault, take initiative to make it right. In doing so, you will take away any chance Satan has to plant a root of bitterness or destroy unity.
Secondly,
2. Keep it between you and the individual.
The Bible is pretty clear on this, if there is a problem between you and another person, keep it between you and that person. Avoid the temptation to slander, degrade, or build a group of supporters who are on “your side.” Also, avoid gossip in the form of “seeking counsel” – if you need wisdom in the situation, ask the Lord to help you get advice from a few trustworthy people in an honoring way.
So many friendships are destroyed, and communities fractured because a few people chose to talk to everyone but the person who offended them. Gossip is one of Satan’s main ways of destroying unity within the Body. So often, a disagreement starts with a simple misunderstanding that could have been solved quickly and lovingly.
If there is a conflict – keep it between you and the other person and love them enough to seek reconciliation regardless of fault.
And what does Jesus say will be the result of handling conflict in a godly way?
We can have a clear conscience before God – approaching the altar knowing that we have done all we can to make things right. Our hearts are free from any potential bitterness that could form.
We restore a friendship that might have otherwise been lost – the unity of the body of Christ is kept healthy and a friendship is restored. We “gain a brother (or sister)” we might have otherwise been estranged from.
Roots Community, let’s strive to be a church that deals with conflict in a loving way. Is there anyone you need to make things right with? If so, don’t let this week end without doing it!
With much love,
Pastor Dave