Colossians 3:12-13 / Seeking Forgiveness

 12 Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, 13 bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. Colossians 3:12-13

 We have all been there: a Christian brother or sister hurts us and then asks us to forgive them. And there can be tension here because maybe you are still hurting and processing, but you also know you must forgive. After all, the Bible says we must and they have asked for forgiveness.

 While in pain the question, "will you forgive me?" can sound more like, "you forgive me, right? As a Christian you must or you are harboring bitterness in your heart and that's not Christ-like." Somehow, someway, the offender can inadvertently pressure the offended into saying they forgive them when they haven't yet.   

 I want to submit a better way to seek forgiveness. When you hurts someone, try to include these 5 elements of true forgiveness:

1.     Take ownership—you might say something like, "I know I hurt you when …"
2.     Validation—"I caused you to feel …"
3.     Apology—"I am sorry I …"
4.     Corrective Action—"I will commit to …"
5.     Request—"Will you consider forgiving me?"

 This method gives the offended the most robust pathway to true forgiveness. It also helps us seek forgiveness rather than demanding it. Lord willing, if we can memorize and implement this method of true forgiveness, we will deepen our relationships with others when real hurts are met with true forgiveness!  

 If you want to dig deeper into this, need help, need prayer, or have questions—please reach out to us here: Roots Help & Prayer Form.

In Christ, 

Pastor Kevin Black